NEW THINGS THATS COMING

hey its been a while dont you think, LOL I'm not even sure someone will read this shit, but hey, I'm just going to write my thoughts here since no one will see my rant HAHA.

Okay so.. its been like a year . Ive stopped writing because I'm basically bored, I'm the type that change my mind a lot, so now I'm in the state thats trying to be more realistic, i mean, i cannot change my mind that easily at a time, so I'm going to control myself more !

ANd hehehe now my old visions came true, they just keep bumping into me all of a sudden, its like the things that I've always said turns out to be a bitter sweet reality! Now I'm in singapore, if you looked at my old pics, I've change pretty much a lot, like …  A LOT> ahahaha

me at the end of 2013

with my best girl ever out of many friends.

more pic with YURA.

AHA, now this is the pic with ma friend that came to singapore as well!!

see? now i could do a normal interaction with people :)

ME 2014

SELFIE CUS YOLO 

in the class memories, now that I'm fully graduated from HS :') </3.

NOW MY RETARDED CONFIDENT FACE HAHA 

See? now i really change, i make lots of songs too now, I'm okay with being alone too now, its all because of that relaxation, thanks to my nosey and pathetic old self i could achieve what i am. And eventually , gradually things will become so much clearer more than ever before. You should know this " keep searching, cause once you get the answer, you won't be satisfied, so keep on searching" its like.. recycling non stop, this is life, this is the experience i have to get through to. One day, i promise you guys , that you won't see me as a naomi thats in the past, but a naomi who change the world. I promise you this words , maybe now its not the time yet, because me personally isn't ready to saving life, first of course i have to save myself , and thanks to YOU too , i could be who i am now. Without any single worries of the future. Oh , and i really want to write stories, but if my english sucks at stories then i apologise hahaha, i hope you all doing well , just know that i love you, god loves you since you have to love yourself! spread the love people, oh and dont forget to spread the consciousness too <3.

LOVE FROM BOTH HELL AND HEAVEN.

N(J).

found the possible J

yeah on my journey to future.
actually I've losen up a little bit , and can talk normally with people just like i used to be. it does really make me happy cause i finally can bound myself to trust human again. i even made some friends.. well actually even before i have so many friends .. but no one understand me or really see me. so for this past month i have this feeling of .. founding my long lost love.
well..
i dont know whether i have felt this before. but the accuration for this statement is still unstable. SOOOO.
you guys want to know whos who?
hahha
now yurachyan have her first crush ever. Oh my.. its a drama . His name is lets just call him Rinkun, Rinkun is a well built man, and uh no kidding i can see his manness just too well.. hes height is about 178 and he has a man built structure.
while my possiblilty . of J is a really skinny,, no,.. a bit skinny young adult,, his age is still 16 of course, and he will reach 17! at the age of 17 he will begin to realize something.. well im just gonna wait for this guy.. call him Jkun.

this is me now.. uh well yeah i lengthen my hair, and it works.. kkun really look at me and call me pretty. but now that my eyes have open. hes really not for me. LOL

this is us.. sisters in God .. we were taking photos together with nathalie took!! it was a really fun moment!



well.
lets stop here
BUBYE LOVEEE

NOW 2013, CHANGES

hey.. i havent post anything lately. i was completely forget about 'i-have-a-blog' LOL.

now i just kinda change. and maybe heres some message to the old naomi.

" dear past naomi

youve been through a lot , u cried, you fought.. you loved, im just gonna tell you that you still cry, and fight. maybe you can just forget about the love thing. Since ,,.. its not love afterall.., maybe were obsessed with Kkun, it just.. now everything has change. i let my bangs grow, just like you want it, and i continued our project! everything has become more clearer, and i begin to realize that im not really a HUMANIST, and maybe I dont consider myself as a human, so let me just live the life He gave me. I bet God was troubled which body should i enter, but He endep up chosing this 'Naomi.. i guaranteed theres always a purpose behind every action.. although maybe sometimes there are no reasons at all. anyway, just let it be. Let Kkun go, let your mind free,.. you stop cutting too.. its a really good thing you know? im glad for you,, and now youre fighting against the urge to cut or being a suicidal. Cause afterall i dont want to be the same as humans. Theyre filthy , but also precious.. i have to protect them, from what actually.. from themselves, for not being so human and being too over fleshed.

LOVE FUTURE


dont worry naomi, J. he will come for you no matter when. its not the time that im worry about, I'm really anxious about my mental state when i finally get to meet you . im really afraid of my human, i hope you can understand me someday .. or maybe heal me instead.. in the name of Love ! you make me choose between human and my clan. probably it will work, but i have no idea about whats going to happen next. Just a hunch, its gonna be a great day tomorrow." :)

Im also happy today theres a guy.. lets call him kiokun,, he said things like this " dont worry , be happy naomi.. everything is gonna be okay, its gonna be alright"

kiokun perhaps doesnt know that , even if its just words that just popped up in his head, i dont care.. but those words really affect me, it means so much to me, finally i feel like im touching the ground again after a long time being lost.

IN ALL OF THIS CONFUSION
im also confused about whos going to be my J?
KKUN?
AKUN?
DURARAKUN?
KIOKUN?
DIKKUN?
actually there are so many candidates so i cant say em all..
let me share pic , about how i look in this year 2013.


or maybe later,.. i really should go to sleep, tomorrow will be hell on heaven.

LIFE1

i've been seeing a lot of people that broked down, or hurt, or broken inside on instagram . i mean, maybe i dont know your life, I dont know what pain you have been through. You've been struggling to live, I respect people who dont say word DIE so easily. I mean it, LIFE is not a game you know? when you broke down and you posted I WANNA DIE on twitter . I just thought like ,(THEN DIE ALREADY) not that i dont care about you , i care thats why i thought about it. You guys are just showing off, so people will see, and tell you not to die and in the end you just gonna say it( i wanna die )more often so people will notice you . I know when you see this you will disagree with me. and you gonna say " You know nothing about me , you know nothing about pain!". HOOOOOO.. tell me about it. I've through a lot. I said i wanna die, and nobody cares. i said i want to cut myself, i want to jump from 100th floor building (LOL) , keep on saying die die die die die. ah.. i was worthless thinking about how to escape reality. Not only you have to be strong but you have to be a shining star. God gave you life, its not nothing. ITS EVERYTHING. and please people! think ahead. Words are just words in the end. Its not a real knife that will stabbed you till death. It just a word that hurt a lot. But you know what? when people say bad things about you.. let them be. cause nobody can change the fact that you are alive. You are strong! you are beautiful ! BUT dont stuck in selfishness, that people cant accept you for who you are, actually ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOUR FAULT that you cut your self, that you are being sucha coward towards life. Come on, who has made that false decision from the first? yeah maybe when someone die because they cant take it anymore , or maybe for different reason, you want to make your friend whose bullying you all the time feeling guilty right? maybe it will work. BUT COULD YOU PLEASE THINK OF YOUR FUTURE???????!!!! when you are only 16 and kill youself doesnt it sound like so useless? maybe you just tired that nobody cares , nobody looked at you, everyone thinks you're ugly. Start with love yourslef more, being you is more precious than money. people are cruel , society are cruel, but please be strong. at least people who DONT HAVE MONEY they can live longer than you, eventhough they lived on the streets, begging for money, they are alive and they dont cut themself, they struggles to BE YOU!!! CHERISHED WHAT U HAVE NOW. cause many people wants to be you, sitting on a nice couch, watching movie, havng a family. Once i only thought about FUTURE, everything about Die and die and die are just a memory. A really bad memory. You are more precious than you could ever imagine.
continue next im tired to write all of my thought at the same time lolrs.

HIGH SCHOOL PT 6

hey , its been a long time hehe.. naomi is back uhuhhh!! WITH A LOT LOVE AND UNLEASH THE POWER OF LOVEEEEEEEEEE!!!  im sorry i get high these days and i just end up dealing with my stupidness. So kkun talk a lot to me lately , he even borrowed my phone tehe.. idk maybe he just wanto search his date or whatever, eventhough im in the friendzone range, its totally okay! finally i be able to call him my friend!! AAAA  it took so long, i guess 4 months? heh its not too long btw, .... and i notice that he interested in many girls... omaigattt.. and maybe im just a little sister to him idk. He always talking about.. ecchan,, although it hurts me.. kkun been doing good, he even got the position of Studen councils president. i cant believe it, this idiot made it. imma bit rough but its okay, since it is him im talking about hohoho.. and he finally can talk casually with me evennn when its not good enough, its still different from the way he talked to tchyan, maybe he likes her.. bleh.. i can cover his wouunded heaaarttt come to mama.. ahahha.. im so stupid.. clinging to those three like a completely stranger.. all they want is only tchyan.. but when im not there,, he asking where i am?? and and theres moree, many moree.. im sorry i dont update the blog for suvh a long term... im on my bussiness doing comic project . i think Yura gets mad at me bacause im focused on one shot project.. but all i want to do is making a debut first.. so i can waw people at the first time and then I can do BLAST project.. Akun, doing allright aswelll, he ady have a date her name is Racchan, shes pretty cute.. i hope they will long last and even forever. if its akun real love then i wouldnt go too far to chase him anymore, he get what he should be, and i hope he'll be happy :) thats all i want for Akun.. and for Kkun? i have a big opportunity since God gave me this opportunity ! i wouldnt waste it! i should take it ! no hesitating! also there will be no regret cause i take this BIG step! and more.. i just got a test to getting a schoolarship for IPC university in New Zealand.. I heard it is a Japan university but its an universal one..  im so excited since i heard the word japannn,, i smeellledd carrierrr!! But thats not the subject that i wantt.. i dont eant to go to the bussinesssss,, i want design and animeee .. but thers no one of thoseee subject in IPC, so i took the test was just to having fun! -_- , Since kkun is the student council president i hope hes not going to be sick again, i hope he'll be healthy and be a succeess leader , just like he had always wanted to.. hes so busy dealing with school programmss and im getting crazy in class without him,,. im madly in love SHIT!!! this is really ,, this feeling its not gonna change even if hes gonna mocks me or swear on me.. this feeling stilll reamin the same.. cause I love him for who he really is.. :) and i dont ever want to let kkun go! in the graduation day.. i will confeess to him before i go abroad for studying.. its enough , for him to knowing, im not a completely a stalker so , i wont shred any photos of himm. just photos of the activities and my friends facess photoss.. nowwwwww STARRTT hohohoh

me and tchyan,, shes a cutie rigth*am i pushing it? yeah i am.. shes avergae foe me actually

this is the cute me , hell yeah

another random photos, and Tingkun laughed at me cause i was looking like this ,, shit

this uniforms are ewar every tuesday and thursday

Naomi photograph *not that pro

this Lkun drawings, hes good at drawing things except human i guess

my friends, the big one is Tingkun, in the middle is Lkun, the last one is SBkun*TChyan pre BF (this is truth)

my drawings,, is not that bad right? actually i know its so good *what>

Tchyan drawings,, so good :) elephants

me,, with the smile.. i have anther pic of me that showed that kind of face too.. and kkun said it was cute.. so i overdoing it.. lately.. because of kkun's word has affect my world

Last .. me and tchyan.. btw we are not bff .. we are just classmates,. who in the end .. wouldnt taking so much shit of each other*in the futurei mean. :D

HIGH SCHOOL pt5

hey meet me again at the STORYOFMOJOGIRL! hoho... so im gonna share things i did this morning, in about 6 am , i ady arrived at the school, and otomatically i went to the rooftop,, and take pics!~ herress the pic!!!

this is the piece of shit that replaced the roof.:'(

you can see sunrises up there, hahaha,.. i loveee being there!!

my face :o,hahaha

this is the pieces of the broken roof,, i can still sit there and
enjoy the morning nature :p

my fingers, ahaha,, there was a writing in the nails but

its faded,., 

in this side i likes to spend the morning

full pic of the useless building,, my beautiful roof being changed into a class ,how annoying! 

beauifull flower! hehahahehahaheh

and when i get back to the class ,, i saw this ,, this's from NARUTO ~

that is the end of the pics, well.. i feel better today than yesterday.. ahhaha. Kkun spoke to me!*actually he just say 5 until 6 line to me, very countable. -___- how great , 

And i saw Akun running around like a total idiot chasing his future GF, bleh-____-,. it didnt really disturb me, but its a real pain in the ass. hhahaa.. and kkun spit words that i dont want to hear!!! Tchan really are naive.. she's really a great caring person! :'( ,, i want to help Kkun too .. but i dont got any guts, im a coward really.. all i can do is just sitting while listening to the words and steal time to look at his stupidness. he..

BTW if Kkun ended with Tchan,, i am really relieved, Tchan is a good person.. Im sure Kkun will be happy being with her.. Im just gonna continue this feeling of happiness from Kkun movement*when he talk to me,laugh because of me, touch me, smile to me,asking me something.
I got a test today.. and i used my power of the faith to answer that.. hahaha.. i dont give a shit about the test actually ,, it was a sosiologist test, and its a well damn hard task. According to my intuition, i guess .. im just gonna stay quite to avoid all the madness , if the secret "that i like Kkun" leak.. im dead.. im really a moving body without soul.. i laughed a lot today at the class, and i wrote some lyric too..

aah!! i loves to listening to the HISTORY!! this lesson really take my attention! i really get into it!!! uyeahh i forgot to tellya that in the sosiologist test,, we have to take the seat according to the absent, and idk if its a real coincidence, i got a seat next to Kkun..  he borrowed a pen, and it hit me "he will never returned it" ahhaha.. im real lucky today!!! i loved to see A-kun and Kkun smile! thats why i got a really.. weird introduction videoo for today.. kekeke,, its not interesting at all, its a boring video,, and its really sdoesnt make any sense,, i hope my classmates dont see stuff like this with me on the screen,, its a reall embarassement,

OKAYY THATS IT FOR TODAY!! HAVE A NICE FRIDAY GUYS!!! LETS GET CRAZY!!!! wohowhoho

ME :)

me with all the randomness i have!!
GUITAR is like a soulmate for me
SINGING is like a food for me , i needed it for everyday life
DANCING is like a rhythm of my heartbeat
DRAWING is my life
PLAYING COMPUTER is a habbit
LOVE 2 guys at a times
usually i bring my guitar to the bathroom, to relieve the confuseness of taking a shit. :p, sometime i brings comics..
MANY friends :) , but these connections are only on the outside,
DEEP connection only with mt three nakamas,, maybe BANA san will become the fourth ,,...

things i used to do:
stealing.. hmm..well its not weird that i loved to steal back there,, but when i get caught im reakky good at making the scenarios.. but it didnt end up well . so im giving up on stealing..
i did a pretty weird things, like played with my hands,, gave them hair and have them talk to each other,*i am nuts wahahaha.. theres a story when my mom took me to a salonn,, and i ended up swimming on the pond(salon's pond) and have a thought on myself that "im a mermaid hell yeah!" and when they told me to get up and have a shower because its dirty .. it tooks one hour to get me out of the pond.. ahha.. that was when im about 5 years old..
and im good at climbing a wardrobe.. so when my mom panic cause im gone.. she found me up heree.. at the  edge of the closet.. im sayong hi to her,, i was proud of myself back there cause i can climb a closet,, and make a crazy applauseee!!!
and sometime i stare at people food, *even when idk them or they're a completely strangers.. i stare at their food.. and watch them eat,,
I loved coming to book store and have a comfortable place in there,, i walked around ,,searching for inuyasha comic,.. and i camn buy about 5 or 7 comic of inuyasha! i really loved the series.. and i became an otaku back there,, i liked to add some decoration in inuyasha's pic.. i add a mustache.. and even i draw a really aninomous creature,, idk well how to draw well back there,, so my drawing look like an cornman.. hahaha..

i guess this is it for todayy!! i'll contineu this laterrr...byebyeeee